Wednesday, August 17, 2011

I love my life here and where we live. I love being so close to the beach, how the air is almost always cool in the mornings. I love all the fruit trees and seeing all of the fields go through their growth and harvest cycles. I love how many hawks there are out here. I love being able to sleep with the windows open for most of the year and, of course, I love my family and the things we do together.

Some things I miss about where I used to live are - being close to Mom, Dad and other family, a distinct change in seasons, cutting wood, fishing trips on the lake and to the mountains, my old job and the people I worked with, mostly Charlene. Sometimes I miss the desert heat, being able to ride my motorcycle at night without having to bundle up, the sunrises and sunsets. I miss my yard, sometimes I miss Bill.

There are things to love no matter where I am - it is up to me to search those things out.

Friday, August 12, 2011

I am going back to work after having 18 days off. I think this is the first time I have really noticed the stress my job causes for my mind and body. I notice it some at work, especially if it is an extra busy shift, but I notice it more in my off work hours. My mind has always craved peace and quiet and those two things are in pretty short supply during an 8 hour shift in a police dispatch center - especially this one where our space is so limited. We rotate so many light duty deputies in and out making it hard to have a consistent staff. I find myself doing my own thing while keeping an ear out for what the deputies handling because most of them really aren't trained for the desk. I sit next to the watch deputy all most all the time now so I keep my third ear on the radio :/. I find myself just wanting to veg out during my off work hours so I guess it is time to going back to making lists in my mind of things I need to do each day.

We had a really great vacation. We went to Utah for the July 24 holiday and spent time with my family. I can't even say how much I enjoy that. I love to see Jamie and Jared playing outside with other kids until dark instead of watching TV or playing on the computer. It is nice to be able to just let them go and know they are OK, if they aren't at Mom's then they are with kids at Janett's or Lew's. I think it is nice for them to have the freedom too. For some reason I feel some kind of protection from the outside world when I am at Mom and Dads house, not sure how else to explain what I feel when I am there.

When we got back from Utah we took a camping trip to Kings Canyon/Sequoia Nat'l parks. What a beautiful place that is. I loved the trees, the river, the cool air, the campfire. It was a very nice trip. I think we all enjoyed it - well, Jamie was kinda grumpy but the rest of us had a good time.

The process of aging has been on my mind a lot lately. I see my hair getting more gray, my skin losing some of it's elasticity, age spots sneaking up on my skin, I notice how it takes my body longer to heal from an injury. In my mind I don't feel 54 - I want to run and play like I did 40 years ago. When I was at home the great nieces and nephews wanted to play annie annie over so I played with them. I sprained my thumb, twisted my ankle, pulled my hamstring and wet my pants every time I ran around the house - but I loved it and every night they would ask me to play with them again. I started out as the only adult playing, before I left my sis, bro and sis-in law were also playing. I know for a fact that we have played that same game over that same house for at least 50 years - good times and good memories.