continual learning

I have read so many different blogs and it seems no one has trouble starting their entries or at least i've not read anybody ever talking about how hard it is to start one. What goes through a person's mind when they first start to type something out? I know what goes through my mind. . . (actually not even the dot, dot, dot--I added those in to fill the blank space)

The real reason I wanted to write today was because I felt like it and because I wanted to write about something that i have realized. I have known for quite some time that it is very important for me to get plenty of sleep--for instance, get to bed early. ( I can hear my conscious speaking to me (jay) ). I think i always believed that i could always make up my sleep later. Over this past weekend I finally realized what can happen if I don't get enough sleep. And to some this may seem trivial or even nonsense, but for me I realized that lack of sleep can bring on mania. I cannot tell you how many times I have read that bit of information over and over again, but It wasn't me, it wasn't something I ever needed to worry about...I was above that rule. I truely thought I didn't need to abide by that guildline or whatever we call those bipolar "suggestions". I realized that when i don't get enough rest or sleep, that it can bring on hypomania (ie: insomnia). Oh man, when I finally wanted to sleep I couldn't. I was left awake, in the night, with all my thoughts and delusions and all I wanted was to go to sleep--to put all the thoughts to sleep and not feel. I am always grateful that I make it through the night, well....I am at least glad the night is over.

Last night I slept, making today a better day. And feeling better makes it alittle easier to make today good. Now...if I say that a hundred times I just know I will believe it!